it's back. my mind, my sanity, and my inspiration.
it's been quite a different and challenging summer to say the least, but i've made it through; a little more experienced, a little more prepared, and a lot more broken.
i sit here, a sophmore now (it's still weird to say that), and i feel like i have a little more direction. last year was a lot of growing up for "baby Calvin." and that's not to say that this year will not have its fair share of growth. in fact, i look forward to even more. but to just be focused on growth i feel is a bit selfish. that's something i've come to terms with pretty recently too thats made me reshift my vision for the year. It kinda came to me in a weird mid morning nap dream/analogy:
so we call the word, prayer, and the maintaing of our relationship with God our spiritual food. and we always make the analogy that we must eat this spiritual food, just like physical food, in order to say nourished, healthy, and survive. however, there is a purpose to food beyond survival. food is fuel, and fuel is meant to be burned in the process of action. what that action is is different for different people. When it comes to spiritual food, it is also fuel meant to be burned in the process of action. and not just "meant to be" but "neccesarily meant to be" because what happens when one gorges himself with food (however healthy) and does not burn the calories he intakes? He becomes obese and obsolete. And i think this can be applied in context to our spiritual analogy here as well. As most beneficial to our soul as our spiritual food is, if we are to just selfishly eat in the purpose of "just growing," we will become obese and obsolete!
and that is something i definitely do not want to become this year. i do not want to be chan bab or cold rice. i do not believe in stereotypes...most of the time. and so, here i am, ready to take in anything that might come my way this year, but also ready to throw it all back in the opportunities that arrive.
i do not want to be limited or confined but i want to be driven in my own freedom.
ready, or not, here i come!
That's the spirit!
ReplyDeletenice dude. let me know how you plan to "work out" or "grow" with all that spiritual protein in your system
ReplyDeleteAHH Cal! Your comment was soo encouraging, and woww this blog entry is basically what i wrote about! Crazyy :D
ReplyDeletePeople whom are genuinely smart and gifted speakers.. ahh I know what you mean! haha. Eric is so smart, and I am AMAZED every time I talk to Billy. So amazedd. I never really talked to Philip about deep stuff before, but. yeah. haha! Hey I have a hard time putting my thoughts into words (and so it takes me forever to write in my blog) but! God is good!
Exodus 4:10-12 10 But Moses said to the Lord, “Oh, my Lord, I am not eloquent, either in the past or since you have spoken to your servant, but o I am slow of speech and of tongue.” 11 Then the Lord said to him, “Who has made man's mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the Lord? 12 Now therefore go, and p I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak.” I just pray that God will speak through me, because I know I am not naturally gifted at responding well like Eric, Billy, or Philip. Haha.
Anyway. "To be more than just an enthusiastic listener".. that is the perfect way to describe what I've been feeling!
You know what though? I find it really interesting that even though we were both challenged with the same ideas, we have different struggles because of who we are. As in, I struggle with it certain way because of my "like-me" side, and you struggle in a certain way because of your "respect-me" side.. isnt that weird??
But yes, do follow suit! :) :) I'm so excited for this year! It's great to know that I have a buddy that will be going in the same direction as me. We can keep each other accountable! And yeah like Eric commented above, let me know how you put it into practice~ :]
i love you calvin
ReplyDeleteyou will not become chanbab for suree :-)
tough lifeguard