Speeding Cars

high speed chases in my head

running from what exactly?

anywhere but here,

except not exactly there either.

luv(sic) part 3

a mountain of expectations of who i should be

a facade of expressions far, far from me

denial and fear, then slow realization

that im nothing more than humbled creation

now where to go beyond the path laid out

sometimes its not just about the simple route

i have come to terms with the past.

its the future bearing down on the present that i just can't seem to grasp.

luv(sic) part 2

where does one story start and another begin?

boundaries seem to fade in and out of vision as the days slip by.

ambiguity is my new best friend in a world where i can't seem to find a concrete answer.

maybe i'm not meant to find the answer in this world.

but it's hard to see beyond what one can see.

it's not even a sickness anymore, maybe it was never love.

maybe it was blindness or being blinded to a point where i stand now.

listening to the beats with an obvious destination but with an ambiguous direction.

and in the mi[d]st i can only see me.

me standing in the way of being me.

"how far do we have to stretch the truth

to fit the lifestyles borrowed and overdue"

luv(sic) part 1

I know, I've neglected you. It's not that I haven't thought about you, but it's almost as if i've been afraid. Afraid to write the things that weren't fully processed and afraid of what the result might be when processed. I can't say that it's complete or that I've had closure to the things I've seen and done, but I can say that I'm at a point where I can look back and understand a little more.

Now onto you Japan. I believe you and I are in what some would call a love hate relationship. I love you for the things you've showed me and allowed me to experience. But I hate you for being such a big part of me and then disappearing. You're trying to fade away like a lover who's lead to many people on and in realizing their mistake, running away. Don't run.

Or are you the one running? Ever since I've come back to "home", maybe i've been the one running. Running away from the reality at hand thats placed itself on the other side of a large ravine that i have no motivation to cross. I want to stay where I am, but am becomes was as past is not present.

I can write myself in circles all day, lyrically swaying to the same beat. But as I look ahead, there is a need to move on.

Stop whispering my heart.