luv(sic) part 1

I know, I've neglected you. It's not that I haven't thought about you, but it's almost as if i've been afraid. Afraid to write the things that weren't fully processed and afraid of what the result might be when processed. I can't say that it's complete or that I've had closure to the things I've seen and done, but I can say that I'm at a point where I can look back and understand a little more.

Now onto you Japan. I believe you and I are in what some would call a love hate relationship. I love you for the things you've showed me and allowed me to experience. But I hate you for being such a big part of me and then disappearing. You're trying to fade away like a lover who's lead to many people on and in realizing their mistake, running away. Don't run.

Or are you the one running? Ever since I've come back to "home", maybe i've been the one running. Running away from the reality at hand thats placed itself on the other side of a large ravine that i have no motivation to cross. I want to stay where I am, but am becomes was as past is not present.

I can write myself in circles all day, lyrically swaying to the same beat. But as I look ahead, there is a need to move on.

Stop whispering my heart.