To learn of this deception is the most painful of things.
I'm not exactly sure where to start or where to end. I've hit backspace half a dozen times...make that a dozen.
I knew I was in a war. A war between my flesh and my heart. My heart longing to be with God and my flesh longing for the things of this world. But I thought that by the power of the spirit that my flesh was under control. I thought I was actually in a place where my flesh was actually longing for God as well. But sin manifests itself in ways that you don't even realize. And I guess I failed to see the ways sin was manifesting itself within me because I was in a state of spiritual content. Call it apathy but I thought I was truly fighting. I guess I left my flank open.
But I read Romans 7:
"For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do no want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but the sin that dwells within me.
So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members . Wretch man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin."
I read this and I can only shake my head in full agreement. I understand. Wretched man that I am. I prayed for dependence solely on God last week. And He broke me to a place where that only one I can depend on is Him. I just need to look up.
But it's so hard. so very hard...
It's never easy. Nothing worth having comes easy. Stick with it.
ReplyDelete"To deceive one's own heart is the most dangerous of things.
ReplyDeleteTo learn of this deception is the most painful of things."
Calvin. I've been trying to blog for days but couldn't find the right words... and the two sentences are exactly what I've been wanting to say. AH! Yes, such wretched people we are :( It is sooo hard and I've been struggling with this for the past few months, I feel like. But we can do it through Christ! Keep fighting! We are all fighting together. I'll be praying for you.
two phrases always stick out to me in this powerful passage.
ReplyDelete1. "Wretched man that I am!" - Your words reflect our current state, being redeemed yet still within the body corrupted by sin. All that we do is tainted and even the best of our intentions and deeds fall short.
2. "Thanks be to God through Christ Jesus our Lord!" - Paul asks "who will deliver me?" and realizes its not himself, it's God! Thanks be to God! And your last words point to this glorious hope..."i just need to look up".
You have within your post the gospel in a nutshell. Don't run away from your wretched condition, but embrace it in the sense that there's nothing you can do that Christ hasn't already done. That's why Martin Luther said "Be a sinner, and let your sins be strong (sin boldly), but let your trust in Christ be stronger." If you fight as Kevin and Rachel said above, we fight not against our sinful nature but we fight FOR our trust in Christ.
"Stop telling God how big your problems are, but start telling your problems how BIG your GOD is!"
ReplyDeleteI know this is rather cliche, but I think this can sum up our little faith. So many times, even though we have The mighty and powerful Redeemer on our side, we fail to acknowledge His presence, and the weight of our problems and sins seem to grow too big to carry. In such situations, my prayer is that you will turn your eyes and truly remember to "look up" to Him.
Remember you and I "were" bound to fail no matter what we may have tried. But now, we can look to the victory we have in Christ and, in faith, continue to persevere in the good race.
You are not fighting alone Calvin :) GOD has already won the battle against sin, and we are redeemed as righteous before His eyes. Continue to persevere with that victory in mind.
Romans 8: 1-3, 31, 38-39
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature,God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering.
What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Oh how true it may be, how wretched both you and I are Calvin. But remember that we have a hope in which our flesh no longer lives, but Christ, that hope, lives in us.
"Your Love Never Fails" :)
Praise to GOD for His redemptive work and everlasting grace in our lives :D Run the good race bro!